I’m maxing out at 500 cals a day. I’m weighing myself at least 3 times a day and writing the highest one on a whiteboard on my refrigerator. I’ve started buying Arctic Zero “frozen dessert” so I can binge on something that’s only 170 cals a pint. That’s usually my lunch/dinner. My apartment complex has a gym so I usually work out until I hit at least 900 cals on the cardio machines. The only symptom I’m minding so far is the blurred vision. It’s really getting in the way of my work. But other than that, I’m so happy. I’m loving the lightness, the change in the way my clothes fall, the lightheadedness that makes me feel like I’m floating. I know where this leads. I’m in academia and annoyingly smart. I know eventually I’ll crash and burn, but right now I’m so happy. Right now I’m so relaxed and safe. Right now, I feel free.
Full on RelapseĀ
02 Tuesday May 2017
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