I am 33 years old. 33! I have a husband, a cat, a career, and I STILL use the time between when my husband and I get home to binge and purge. I’m a published scientist! And I came home from a long day of “scienceing” to eat half a bag of candy and then shove a toothbrush down my throat until I had puked enough to feel hungry again. How am I still doing this? How is this still my life? I’m smart. Objectively speaking, I’m incredibly intelligent and actually as well educated in my field as anyone can be. I have all these degrees, and yet I can’t pull myself out of the comforting routine of a hedonistic binge followed by a cathartic purge. I’m so tired of this. It just feels like it’s going to be this way forever, and I am just way, way too old for this shit.