The scale says I’m getting smaller, but I never believe it until someone else tells me. Today my friend complimented my cheekbones. She said my face is so much smaller that you can see all the bones that shape my face. She called me beautiful. There is literally nothing else she could have said that would have made me happier right now.

 I wish I was less shallow and vain and I wish I wasn’t in a mental place where certain foods scare me so much. But for now, this is where I am and this is who I am. And these compliments are what I’m living for. Hopefully this backslide will pass quickly and I can get back to monitoring my food and exercise for health, not decreasing numbers and bones. But right now, that’s not where I am and that’s not who I’m able to be. And on some level, I’m ok with that.